Archives For passengers

After the UK survey released earlier this week, Cruisey Life asked its Facebook family and subscribers what annoys them most on cruises. Turns out it’s other cruise passengers – usually people at the buffet. Where everyone has knives!!

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On a ship with hundreds or thousands of people, you’re bound to bump into a few duds. The stalker couple who are somehow ALWAYS EVERYWHERE you go. Don and Dorothy from Dullsville. The drunk, deluded bogan who thinks you’re his new best mate. The slurring, sloppy cougar. The racist, sexist pig who’s rude to all the waiters. The bragging wankers in the owner’s suite. That stalker couple AGAIN.

Nobody wants their holiday ruined by fellow travellers who just don’t get the hint. So, here are my 6 recommended ways to escape the cruisers from hell.

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I’ve been speaking on radio stations, today and last night, about the two young people who have gone missing from Carnival Spirit off Australia’s east coast. My blog about deaths at sea has led to some interesting research.

So, how closely are you being monitored while on a ship? A big ship has hundreds of cameras watching your every move – everywhere except inside your cabin. They can also see inside your balcony (so any couple who’s been swept away by the romance of sea, yep, there’s a good chance the officers were watching you from the bridge).

Problem is, there are not 600 security staff to watch 600 cameras, and it only takes a couple of seconds to fall from the 10th deck into the ocean – like leaping from a skyscraper.

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There is a certain breed of cruise passenger who will complain about the most ridiculous things. Here are some crackers, obtained through a survey by travel agency Bonvoyage.co.uk.

– A woman said the sea was “too loud” in the Mediterranean and cabins should be “better sound-proofed from the sounds of the sea”.
– A couple accused a ship’s captain of being “rude” for departing from a port (on time) when they had left a note saying they needed more time for sightseeing.
– A man complained about not getting “an impressive tan” while cruising in Alaska. Repeat, Alaska.

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Good riddance, March, you’ve been a horror month for cruising! The past 4 weeks have seen an unusual number of breakdowns, collisions with rocks, norovirus outbreaks, passenger deaths and a couple of shootings. What the!!!

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Given the older age of many passengers on certain cruise lines, it’s not surprising to lose one or two along the way. On a recent Caribbean cruise, I witnessed three people (in varying stages of life or death) get carried off the ship.

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In the online spirit of over-sharing, I will divulge the disgraceful and spread the scandalous at sea. But no names – it’s all anonymous fun. So sign up with your email address to read all about it!

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Gossip to come:
1. Lured astray by the Captain.
2. The secret life of “hostitutes”.
3. In hot water in a hot tub with a priest.
And much, much more…

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