Because I would rather be thrown overboard than sit through another rendition of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”, I’ve been thinking about some better ways to be entertained on cruises.
While some companies are making a good effort to dream up new ideas, I reckon they can massively improve in some areas. So here is my list of 10 things I’d like to see on ships in the future…
1. Water sport shows
Imagine if you could have professional water-skiers and jet-skiers speeding alongside the ship, performing tricks and synchronised routines. Dressed as pirates. Everyone could watch from their cabins or the top deck. Come on, that would be cool!
2. A glass-bottomed ship
OK, there’s probably a good reason why this is not possible. But I can still WANT it.
3. Plays (theatre)
Not that hard, is it? As I may have hinted above, I cannot stand musicals or hackneyed songs, but I’ll happily watch a show that does not involve singing and dancing. If Broadway can do it, a cruise line can.
4. Underwater/aquarium restaurant
If underwater hotels can do it, a cruise line can. Install a huge amazing aquarium that wraps around the ceiling of a restaurant or a bar, so I can feel more immersed in the ocean. With sharks. And an octopus. And seahorses.
5. Seafood restaurants
Talking of fish, why does nobody have seafood restaurants on a ship IN THE SEA? Everyone has specialty venues for Asian, Italian, a steakhouse, maybe a sushi bar, but no really awesome 100% seafood places. NCL is adding one to its next ship, but I can’t think of any in existence today.
6. Bungee jumping
Just because it would be ridiculous.
I’ve seen them on a German ship but not American or Australian. How relaxing to lie on your hammock on your balcony or by the pool…
Yeah, Carnival makes its own RedFrog lager, but I want the whole set-up. I want a bar with 200 Belgian beers, I want an oompah band, I want beer wenches, I want Oktoberfest year-round.
9. Zipline racing
Why have one when you can have two? Install them parallel and then people can race each other. And make them reach from end to end of the ship – not across its width – so we can get from stern to bow faster.
10. Wrist band technology
Get rid of the whole cruise card system. When you don’t have pockets in your bikini or sundress, and you don’t want to carry a bag, or stick it down your bra, you have to wear your cruise card on a lanyard around your neck. Sorry, but this makes us all look like a bunch of overgrown latchkey kids. Can’t they embed a microchip in a wrist band or something? Make them able to open doors by just holding our hand near a sensor on the door handle. Swipe your wrist at the bar to buy a drink. Has this been invented yet? Makes sense to me. Then we won’t lose them either.
What would you like to see??