4:51 pm — 7 Comments

Because I would rather be thrown overboard than sit through another rendition of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”, I’ve been thinking about some better ways to be entertained on cruises.

While some companies are making a good effort to dream up new ideas, I reckon they can massively improve in some areas. So here is my list of 10 things I’d like to see on ships in the future…

1. Water sport shows
Imagine if you could have professional water-skiers and jet-skiers speeding alongside the ship, performing tricks and synchronised routines. Dressed as pirates. Everyone could watch from their cabins or the top deck. Come on, that would be cool!

2. A glass-bottomed ship
OK, there’s probably a good reason why this is not possible. But I can still WANT it.

3. Plays (theatre)
Not that hard, is it? As I may have hinted above, I cannot stand musicals or hackneyed songs, but I’ll happily watch a show that does not involve singing and dancing. If Broadway can do it, a cruise line can.

4. Underwater/aquarium restaurant
If underwater hotels can do it, a cruise line can. Install a huge amazing aquarium that wraps around the ceiling of a restaurant or a bar, so I can feel more immersed in the ocean. With sharks. And an octopus. And seahorses.

5. Seafood restaurants
Talking of fish, why does nobody have seafood restaurants on a ship IN THE SEA? Everyone has specialty venues for Asian, Italian, a steakhouse, maybe a sushi bar, but no really awesome 100% seafood places. NCL is adding one to its next ship, but I can’t think of any in existence today.

6. Bungee jumping
Just because it would be ridiculous.

7. Hammocks
I’ve seen them on a German ship but not American or Australian. How relaxing to lie on your hammock on your balcony or by the pool…

8. Microbrewery
Yeah, Carnival makes its own RedFrog lager, but I want the whole set-up. I want a bar with 200 Belgian beers, I want an oompah band, I want beer wenches, I want Oktoberfest year-round.

9. Zipline racing
Why have one when you can have two? Install them parallel and then people can race each other. And make them reach from end to end of the ship – not across its width – so we can get from stern to bow faster.

10. Wrist band technology
Get rid of the whole cruise card system. When you don’t have pockets in your bikini or sundress, and you don’t want to carry a bag, or stick it down your bra, you have to wear your cruise card on a lanyard around your neck. Sorry, but this makes us all look like a bunch of overgrown latchkey kids. Can’t they embed a microchip in a wrist band or something? Make them able to open doors by just holding our hand near a sensor on the door handle. Swipe your wrist at the bar to buy a drink. Has this been invented yet? Makes sense to me. Then we won’t lose them either.

What would you like to see??

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Louise Goldsbury

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In 2013 I was named Best Travel Writer at the National Travel Industry Awards. And until someone corrects me, I'm claiming to be the youngest cruise editor in the Southern Hemisphere. Editor of Cruise Weekly since 2009, I also contribute to Sydney's Sun Herald newspaper and various travel magazines and websites.

7 responses to CRUISES OF THE FUTURE

  1. Dominic Wild at 9:14 am

    Amateur comedy shows but it has to be kept clean as there are a lot of winklies on board!

  2. Love the wrist band idea. Patent it Louise and make your fortune.

  3. Maree Telha at 8:08 pm

    Our local bakery and the bar have wrist bands that work the tills.
    Great idea.

  4. Just love most of those ideas Louise, especially the zip line from stern to bow.
    We have travelled many times on Cunard and they claim their shows are ‘West End’ quality, or some such phrase but the entertainment has probably been the one thing we found lacking on most of their ships and voyages.

    I did just write a post the other day about seeing Sir David Frost on Queen Elizabeth last year – very professional and entertaining and standing room only in the theatre.

    And, on the same voyage, we had an excellent Entertainment Director who also dragged out an old game show set and gave us this unique and less than professional experience (in which I partook) –

    The theatrical group on the same cruise (we were on board for 6 weeks) did perform a few non-musical numbers (so no singers, no dancers, no sequins or very tight, white pants) and they were scenes and segments from plays, etc., and they were refreshing, but not what I would pay money to see, however being a trained actor (and married to one) we are always left only half satisfied.

    Honestly, I won’t rant on much longer but some of the best performances are by the English nightclub venue entertainers (probably who would tour the RSLs and Leagues Clubs in Australia) who just do the cruise ships i.e. Kenny Smiles, and certain magicians, etc., because they are ‘daggy’ in a nice way, they keep their acts fairly fresh, or at least alter them to suit the voyage and they make sure that they actually engage with the audiences, who range in ages and cultural backgrounds, as you would be aware.

    I do enjoy your blog, and hope you get a chance to have a look at mine.


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