Archives For August 2013

Nobody warns you how much penguin porn you’re going to see in Antarctica. Yeah, the travel agent or an article may mention it’s mating season, but you really aren’t properly prepared for the sheer amount of raw animal sex in public.

My voyage to the nether polar regions coincided with the start of the nesting period, when Gentoo penguins are setting up their love shacks and seeking a partner to keep warm. Cruise travellers get to watch, up close and far too personal, how this courtship unfolds…

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SHE’S A COUGAR

10:00 am — 1 Comment

The highlight of P&O’s three-night comedy cruise was a song about cougars, frequently spotted hunting cubs in boardshorts on pool decks or drunk-dancing in ship nightclubs. I say, you go, girls! The performance was most appreciated by the over-40s women in the audience, who cheered and screamed and laughed and pointed at themselves. I am cougar, here me roar!

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P&O is adding an intriguing activity to its Australian-based ships. No kidding, it is called ‘Titanic Moment’. But it won’t have anything to do with sinking the ship in icy waters. Passengers will simply have the chance to go out on the bow (usually out of bounds on P&O) and re-enact that iconic movie scene where Leo and Kate…I mean, Jack and Rose…stand on the bow, arms outstretched, sailing into the sunset.

titanic-07

Another cool new thing to try is climbing up the ship’s funnel. Makes other rock-climbing walls seem a little dull in comparison. Personally I’ve never seen the appeal of climbing up a wall. There’s an elevator, people!

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Why do we eat more at sea? Does the salty air stimulate our inner Porky Pig? Is it because we want to get our fare’s worth of food? Or do we just eat it because it’s there – and it’s free?
Like cows, our “cruise stomach” seems to find extra compartments, and we pile on the dreaded “cruise kilos”.

Most cruisers go through three stages, from good intentions, to giving in, to giving up. Some people last longer than others, but most crumble at the first sight of a menu.

This is an hour-by-hour breakdown of how it usually goes…

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A list of transfers to White Bay Cruise Terminal in Sydney. Because nobody else has one!

UPDATED INFO (December 2013) at www.whitebaysydney.com

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